Barth’s Bus Stories: Anyone Lose a Sock?

11 May

bus_crowdedFebruary 9, 2014

[Bus stop at the corner of Franklin and Hennepin. Insanely cold. Dark. Exhaust freezing midair in car headlights.]

Guy 1: Anyone lose a sock?

[None of the ten people waiting answers him.]

Guy 1: There’s a sock right there. In the ice. Anyone lose this sock?

[Everyone pretends this isn’t happening.]

Guy 1: [digs sock out of the solid ice on the sidewalk, holds it up: A stiff, cardboard cut-out of a sock. It’s gaudily striped in 7 seven different colors.] Anyone?

[Long pause]

Guy 2: Holy shit.

Guy 1: What?

Guy 2: That’s MY sock.

Guy 1: Yeah? It was right here.

Guy 2: Let me look at it. [Takes frozen sock.] Yep. [Rolls up one leg of his snow pants to reveal he is wearing an identical sock, same gaudily-colored stripes.] I lost it like a month ago.

Guy 3: NO. WAY.

Guy 2: [putting frozen sock in his backpack] I must have dropped it on the way to the laundry down the street there. That was like a month ago.

Guy 3: NO. FUCKING. WAY. THAT’S *YOUR* SOCK??

Guy 1: Well, there it is. That’s why I was meant to go in to treatment today. To find your sock for you, brother.

[Guy 1 and Guy 2 give each other a hardy, backslapping bro hug.]

GUY 3: THIS MAKES NO GODDAMN FUCKING SENSE! NO WAY. HE JUST WALKED UP HERE AND *FOUND* YOUR SOCK?

2 Responses to “Barth’s Bus Stories: Anyone Lose a Sock?”

  1. Susan Chosy Greblo May 11, 2015 at 4:41 pm #

    NO. WAY. ❤ !!

  2. lydamorehouse May 11, 2015 at 6:57 pm #

    OMG this now my second favorite bus story. I’m with Guy 3, stuff like that ain’t supposed to happen. AND HE WAS WEARING THE MATCH!

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