Barth’s Bus Stories: Big John

27 Apr


March 28, 2014

Loud Man: [entering, in a bus-shaking voice] Get your hand outa my pocket! Y’all got a pickpocket on board! I’ll beat that man up for you if you want me to. He’s a black man. Ah, ha, ha, ha, you’re all right. I’m loud. I’m too loud and I know it, but I can’t help it. Yes! My name’s John, everyone. How’s your day, brother?

[Woman on Cell waves to Loud Man]

Loud Man: What? Hey, baby. Oh, hey, how you doing, baby? Good to see you. Sorry I’m so loud.

Woman on Cell: You made my boyfriend mad!

Loud Man: I did? What I do?

Woman on Cell: He heard you.

Loud Man: He did? On the phone?

Woman on Cell: He heard you!

Loud Man: I’m sorry, baby. I can’t help it.

Woman on Cell: He said, “Why I’m hearing a mad voice?”

Loud Man: Tel him it’s just Big John. He can come find me [singing] Girl, I love you one thousand times. [To a man he boarded with] That one’s my man. That one, the one in the hat. The high yella. I said you a high yella! Come back here and sit by me, brother.

Woman on Cell: You take care, John. [exits]

Loud Man: Bye, Baby. [singing] I love you one thousand times. Remember…

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