Barth’s Bus Stories: Sonny

24 Apr

bus passengers

September 25, 2014

Guy: Does this bus go to Lake?

Barth: No, it goes to Hennepin.

Guy: Hennepin and what?

Barth: Franklin. Hennepin and Franklin.

Guy: But after that?

Barth: After Hennepin?

Guy: Yeah.

Barth: It turns around. It comes back the same way.

Guy: Does it go to Lake?

Barth: No. Nowhere near Lake.

Guy: Damn.

Barth: Where are you headed?

Guy: Meeting a woman. I shouldn’t. She’s no good for me. But she called and started crying and–

Barth: [desperate to avoid TMI with a stranger] NO! No, no. I mean where in Minneapolis are you going?

Guy: Lake Street.

Barth: Lake and what?

Guy: Lake and Bloomington.

Barth: Ok you’re headed in the opposite direction.

Guy: Where is this bus going?

Barth: Hennepin.

Guy: Hennepin and what?

Barth: Look just stay on this bus and it’ll loop around back to Franklin and Bloomington. You get off there and take a 14 up to Lake. Make sense?

[Guy nods knowingly]

Guy: Your beard is amazing.

Barth: …

Guy: So many colors.

Barth: Yeah.

Guy: It’s mesmerizing.

Barth: Ok.

Guy: My name’s Sonny. I was born Bulgaria. Can you believe that shit?

Barth: Bulgaria.

[Sonny and Barth fistbump]

Sonny: What’s your name?

Barth: Barth.

Sonny: Do people call you Marty?

Barth: What?

Sonny: What do people call you?

Barth: Barth.

[Long pause.]

Sonny: Hoooooo, brother. I shouldn’t be out. I gotta go into treatment tomorrow.

Barth: Bummer. Who’s making you go to treatment?

Guy: Me. I’m doing it because it’s time. (Lets out a big sigh) I’m pretty wasted, Marty.

2 Responses to “Barth’s Bus Stories: Sonny”

  1. lydamorehouse April 24, 2015 at 6:47 pm #

    This is possibly my favorite. Your beard has so many colors, man. SO. MANY.

  2. barthanderson April 24, 2015 at 8:12 pm #

    My beard is quite polychromatic, to be fair.

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